And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize