I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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