4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Randomize
