We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
