Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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