Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
