dude i'm inner monologue high
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Less talking, more tequila
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
