but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
