She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
