he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
