and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
