He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
