please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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