I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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