i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
how drunk are you?
Several
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
