I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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