so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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