does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
