it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
