I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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