Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize