I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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