i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
