friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
