I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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