Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I am available for nakedness
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
