How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
