If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
