the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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