Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
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On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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