so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My vagina is very pro this idea
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
