Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
