I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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