It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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