i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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