thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
