I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
