who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
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