i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
