Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
