I need help removing her.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
