I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
