im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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