she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
