I'm jealous of your bromance
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm sobbing to NWA
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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