i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
