I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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