is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
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seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
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She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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