dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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