i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
