His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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