YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It's never too late to be topless.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize