No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize