I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
