you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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