everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
