I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
