Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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